Can My Spouse Live in Assisted Living with Me?

Relationships enrich our lives. A good relationship with your spouse may even help you live longer. The transition to assisted living is all about preserving your quality of life, which means that your spouse can of course live with you. This is true even if you need different levels of care. Here’s what you need to know as you compare options.

Can a Spouse Live with You in Assisted Living?

The entire purpose of assisted living is to improve your quality of life and help you remain healthy. Your spouse plays a huge role in your well-being and is always welcome to join you in assisted living. Depending on the community you choose, this might mean you pay for assisted living, and they pay for independent living in the same apartment. So be sure to ask how costs are allocated and whether you’ll both have to pay the higher assisted living price tag.

It’s important to remember that assisted living is not jail or school. You can still live life on your own terms, seeing who you want when you want. Many seniors mistakenly believe that assisted living is a place where someone else will control them, and that’s why they worry they can’t bring a spouse. The reality is that today’s assisted living communities offer luxury and care, while you remain in the driver’s seat.

Benefits of Moving with Your Spouse

If you’re on the fence about assisted living or wonder whether bringing your spouse with you is the right move, rest assured that moving with your spouse to a senior living community can enrich both of your lives. The benefits include:

  • You’ll have your companion and life partner with you for the next chapter of your life.
  • You’ll get to fully embrace retirement together, making new friends, attending special events, and perhaps becoming even closer.
  • Neither of you will have to deal with caregiver stress or burnout.
  • You may actually save money if you’re no longer paying a mortgage and tending to the myriad costs of homeownership. Check out our senior living cost calculator here.
  • You will both have access to a continuum of care. If both spouses eventually need assisted living or additional support, you can get it in the place you’ve learned to call home without disrupting your lives or routines.
  • You’ll rest easy, secure in the knowledge that you are both safe and will get support when you need it.
  • Your children may worry less about both of you, and family time may trigger less conflict and stress.

What If We Have Different Needs? 

No two people age at exactly the same rate, even when they’ve spent their lives together. But that doesn’t mean you have to live separately. The key is to choose the level of care the more advanced spouse needs. So if one of you is ready for assisted living while the other can thrive in independent living, you should both move to assisted living.

Some people hope that having a spouse means they won’t need a higher level of care. That is sometimes true — if your spouse is willing to provide significant care. However, this can result in caregiver burnout, eroding the health of both spouses. You’ll enjoy your retirement more if you both get the support and care you need. This frees the healthier spouse to remain a spouse rather than a caregiver, which can mean a more egalitarian, rewarding relationship.

The right senior living community makes every day feel like a second honeymoon. For help choosing the perfect community for your needs, download our free guide, “Finding a Safe and Comfortable Senior Living Community.”

Safe & Comfortable Guide


Begin Your Senior Living Journey with Arbor

Begin Your Senior Living Journey with Arbor

Find a Community