Online dating has become a popular way for people of all ages to meet potential partners. For seniors, it can offer an exciting opportunity to connect, share experiences, and maybe even find love. But with this convenience comes a need for caution—especially when it comes to the ever-growing number of scams targeting older adults.
In our recent Senior Living Live webinar, “Online Dating Tips and How to Spot a Scam,” Dr. Janie Steckenreiter, a renowned gerontologist and professor at Loyola Marymount University, shared her expert advice on navigating the world of online dating safely and successfully. Whether you’re just beginning to dip your toes into the world of online dating or you’re already active on a platform, Dr. Steckenreiter's advice provides valuable insights on creating a strong profile, staying safe from scammers, and approaching your first meetings with confidence.
1. Choosing the Right Website for Senior Dating
One of the first steps in online dating is selecting the right platform. Dr. Steckenreiter recommends five senior-focused dating websites, vetted by the National Council on Aging:
These platforms are tailored to seniors and offer varying features, from personality-based matchmaking to self-directed searches. Dr. Steckenreiter highlights that some platforms, like Senior Match and eHarmony, implement strong verification processes to help keep fraud at bay.
When choosing a site, it’s important to consider your dating goals. Are you looking for a long-term partner, a casual connection, or maybe just a new friend? The site you choose should reflect those goals. While the price of these services varies, Dr. Steckenreiter suggests selecting a site that fits your needs without breaking the bank—many options start at around $13 per month.
2. Building Your Profile: Honesty is Key
Your dating profile is your first impression, and Dr. Steckenreiter stresses the importance of making it engaging and authentic. Start by identifying what you’re looking for in a partner. Do you want someone who shares your hobbies or interests, like playing pickleball or traveling? Are you seeking a romantic partner, or perhaps just someone to attend a local concert with?
Once you know what you’re looking for, it’s time to craft your bio. Keep it short, sweet, and clever. Avoid clichés like “I love long walks on the beach” and instead, be specific about your experiences. For example, instead of saying you like hiking, mention something like “I climbed Machu Picchu and slept under the stars.” This adds personality and makes your profile more memorable.
Additionally, Dr. Steckenreiter advises against overselling yourself or using outdated photos. Always use current pictures, and make sure they accurately reflect who you are. A well-balanced profile should include a mix of close-up photos, full-body shots, and images of you participating in activities that bring you joy. For example, if you love to fish, include a photo of you holding up your catch!
3. Red Flags: How to Spot a Scam
While online dating can be a fun and rewarding experience, it’s crucial to remain vigilant about potential scams. Dr. Steckenreiter emphasizes that most people on dating sites are legitimate, but there are always a few bad actors. Here are some red flags to watch out for:
- Love Bombing: If someone comes on too strong, too fast, and professes love early on without meeting you, it could be a scam.
- Pressure to Move Off the Dating Site: Scammers often try to get you off the platform and onto apps like WhatsApp to isolate you from others.
- Inconsistent Details: If the information on their profile doesn’t match what they’re telling you, that’s a huge red flag.
- Reluctance to Meet or Video Chat: Scammers are often unwilling to meet in person or video chat. Be cautious if someone makes excuses about why they can’t have a phone conversation or share a video call.
- Requests for Money: One of the most obvious signs of a scam is if someone starts asking for money. Whether it’s for a sad personal emergency or travel expenses, never send money to someone you’ve never met in person.
4. Staying Safe: Practical Tips for Protecting Yourself
Dr. Steckenreiter shared several tips for protecting yourself while dating online:
- Use a Separate Phone Number: Consider using Google Voice to set up a separate phone number for dating purposes. This keeps your personal number private and prevents someone from tracking you down easily.
- Reverse Search Photos: If you're unsure about someone's profile photo, you can reverse-search it online to see if it appears elsewhere on the internet, which could indicate a scam.
- Don’t Share Personal Details: Be cautious about sharing personal information like your last name, home address, or birthdate early in your conversations. Scammers may use this information to steal your identity.
- Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off, trust your gut. Talk to a trusted friend or family member to get their opinion. It’s always good to have a second set of eyes on the situation.
5. Your First Meeting: Making it Safe and Comfortable
Once you've connected with someone online, Dr. Steckenreiter advises setting up a face-to-face meeting as soon as possible. But don't rush into inviting them to your home. Instead, choose a public, neutral location, such as a coffee shop. Keep the meeting short—around 45 minutes is perfect. This gives you enough time to gauge chemistry without feeling trapped if things aren’t clicking.
Always let someone close to you know where you’re going and who you’re meeting. Dr. Steckenreiter also recommends sharing your location with a trusted friend via your phone for added peace of mind.
6. Keep It Fun: Online Dating Should Be Enjoyable
Online dating can be intimidating, but Dr. Steckenreiter encourages seniors to keep it lighthearted. She likens the process to “dating with training wheels”—you may not get everything right at first, but with practice, it’ll get easier. Whether you're seeking a romantic partner or simply looking for new friends, online dating can be an exciting way to expand your social circle.
In the end, Dr. Steckenreiter’s best advice is simple: just go for it. Don’t let fear or hesitation hold you back from exploring this exciting chapter of your life. With the right mindset, a little practice, and the right precautions, online dating can lead to rewarding connections and new experiences.
If you missed this insightful webinar or want to revisit Dr. Steckenreiter's expert advice, don't worry—you can still catch all the valuable tips! Fill out the form on this page to register for access to the recording of the Online Dating Tips and How to Spot a Scam webinar. Watch at your convenience and get all the expert advice you need to navigate the world of online dating safely and successfully.
For more tips and resources on senior living, online safety, and more, be sure to explore our other webinars at SeniorLivingLive.com. Stay tuned for more valuable content coming your way
